Devorah and Zeidy’s relationship

Devorah and Zeidy’s relationship is both a bond of upbringing and a contest over what she is allowed to show. He is a central caregiver whose religious judgment she deeply respects, but she also fears his scrutiny and conceals the reading, ambitions, and private self that do not fit the modest, compliant granddaughter he hopes to raise.

A household built around care and absence

Zeidy and Bubby had thought their child-raising years were over when Devorah came into their care. Her parents’ marriage began to fail soon after she was born, and her mother left to pursue higher education in America. Devorah was therefore raised by her grandparents, in a family history where adult decisions and religious expectations shaped the limits of her childhood. She wonders whether her presence, too, is understood as a test from God, to be borne humbly rather than questioned.

That dependence does not make her feel securely at home. At school she is the only girl in her class who does not live with her parents, and teachers pay special attention to her because of it. Their concern threatens to mark her as a charity case, a status she rejects. The household that sustains her is also the source of a difference that follows her into public life; the fact of being raised by Zeidy and Bubby is both protection and exposure.

The granddaughter behind the performance

Devorah works to appear to Zeidy as the girl he has tried to create. When she secretly reads a hidden copy of Little Women, she hears his heavy footsteps on the stairs, slips the book under her mattress, and smooths the sheet so the hiding place will not show. She then repeats to herself that she is a good girl and arranges her face into a meek, blank expression. Her fear is not simply that he will discover a book: she worries that his piercing blue eyes and the intuition she attributes to him might penetrate the mask and reveal that she is not the modest girl he worked so hard to make.

This secrecy gives their intimacy an uneasy shape. Devorah wants Zeidy’s approval so much that the possibility of his knowing her fully feels like a source of heartbreak, yet she protects herself by acting out the very identity she doubts. Her obedience is therefore not proof that her desires have disappeared. It is a performance designed to preserve her place in the household while keeping her imaginative life private.

Family shame and competing explanations

Devorah’s feelings toward Zeidy are also entangled with her father’s cognitive impairment and behavior. She tries to avoid her father, fearing the shame she associates with him and imagining how her friends might respond if they encountered him in the street. She is angry that no one in the family seems to seek treatment for him, and she resents the way her connection to him makes it impossible, in her view, to become entirely perfect or to fit in. Her frustration is directed at the family’s inaction as well as at the burden she feels his condition places on her.

The grandparents give that suffering a religious interpretation. Bubby describes a problem child as punishment; Zeidy calls it a test from God. In their account, seeking a treatment or diagnosis could mean evading suffering that God intended, and a formal diagnosis might damage the marriage prospects of the other children. Their response is to accept the situation rather than name and treat it. Devorah’s distress exposes the distance between the elders’ language of providence and her wish for practical help, even as she remains dependent on the people who hold that view.

Respect for Zeidy’s judgment

Devorah’s fear of disappointing Zeidy coexists with genuine admiration. During a dispute over whether the new Eruv in Brooklyn is religiously valid, he studies the question extensively and concludes that it is permissible. She respects his combination of Talmudic intelligence and open-mindedness, especially because he does not treat strictness as the only mark of religious seriousness. He believes that a knowledgeable rabbi should be able to find flexibility within the law rather than reject flexibility out of uncertainty.

His position is more nuanced than a simple permission. Although Zeidy considers the Eruv valid, he warns Devorah not to use it because other people may regard its use as a sin, and seeing her do so could mislead them or provoke angry attention toward the family. Reports of women pushing baby carriages on Shabbos and of young Hasids shouting at, or throwing rocks at, perceived violators make the social consequences tangible. Devorah has no baby to carry, but the episode shows the distinction between Zeidy’s own considered judgment and the caution he imposes on her for the sake of communal appearances.

The marriageable granddaughter

At seventeen, Devorah becomes increasingly aware that Zeidy and Bubby are discussing matches for her. The matchmaker calls almost every night. Zeidy takes calls privately in his office, while Bubby stretches the telephone cord into the bathroom, runs the water, and pretends to be speaking with one of her daughters. Devorah listens for clues but is not told the details. The secrecy around marriage repeats the household pattern: decisions affecting her future are made nearby, while she is left to infer what is happening.

Zeidy’s priorities for a match reflect his concern with piety, Satmar family background, and reputation. Devorah’s own hopes differ: she wants a husband who will let her read and write and take the subway to Union Square. Her recent school success and prestigious job improve her prospects and bring a new, palpable excitement to the family. She understands that Zeidy and Bubby now see her as having turned out well, yet the resulting trust is precarious: her independence as a working girl gives her unsupervised time, while her improved marriage prospects draw her more firmly into family planning for her future. Their relationship thus remains affectionate and consequential, but unequal. Zeidy’s care and judgment help shape her life even as Devorah keeps her most private aspirations out of his sight.